Honey Badger Mom

Category: Inspiration

  • Deep Thoughts Inspired by the 2015 MTV VMAs

    Deep Thoughts Inspired by the 2015 MTV VMAs

    I don’t have cable, so I was “watching” the recent Video Music Awards through commentary on Twitter and Facebook and catching up on the important bits as clips were posted to various websites. It’s funny, I don’t feel I missed much, I was just operating on a ten minute delay or so.

    Afterwards, of course, the overwhelming majority of sentiment goes like this:

    1. OMG, all these performers are attention whores and everything they said/did/wore was for the attention, how pathetic

    2. FFS, <insert name of media outlet here>, I remember when you used to report actual news, why does anyone care about <insert name of celebrity here>?

    Example: I’m so sick of that Miley Cyrus. Stop giving her attention. She’s just trying to be the next Madonna.

    Madonna? Madonna who? Oh, you mean the woman who was instrumental for pushing the artistic envelope when it came to music video; who is, if not the Queen at least a duchess of the Girl Power movement; who released over a dozen albums over three decades; who sold over 300 million records (making her the best selling female musical artist of all time); who went on to star in films, write books and found her own entertainment company? Who, by the by, was criticized every damn step of the way? That Madonna? Why the hell would anyone want to try to be her?

    Remember Like a Virgin at the VMAs? The original wardrobe malfunction?

    I think it’s strange that we lambast the famous for craving attention, as it is the motivation that drives the creative instinct and the hustle to get it seen, and the “media” (by which I mean anyone who seeks to reach an audience beyond their friends and family) for distributing content that generates that attention.

    This is what we call entertainment. It’s not a new concept.

    Performers stand before us on whatever stage they choose, and we choose to pay attention to it. And far more often than not, we criticize not only their talent and their creations, but their faces, their bodies, their casual remarks, their vacation choices, their wardrobes, their partners and their children.

    It’s amazing that anyone chooses to create and perform at all, let alone in a way that is mass distributed, that makes them “famous.” But for those with the music, the words, the magic within them, the idea of not sharing is to deny your spirit.

    Let’s be real: to amass any sort of fame for what you’ve produced, there needs to be a healthy amount of ego. There is no such thing as a truly humble celebrity. Thankful, grateful, yes. But to keep creating things of note, you can’t act like your talent was a happy coincidence, a tangential gift. You have to own your talent. You have to think: yes, I made this, and it is good, and I can do it again.

    You have to believe that what you’re putting out there is something the world absolutely wants and needs to see. You have to take energy from the other parts of your life and dedicate it to the center of your universe, your craft. And then you have to take care of the thousand and one mundane details that don’t actually directly pertain to your craft, the first and most important being promote, promote, promote.

    1% inspiration, 99% perspiration.

    If your ego isn’t quite up to snuff, then the act of creation is terrifying and the act of promotion is paralyzing. What was so clever, concise, innovative, important while being constructed in your mind becomes insipid and trivial once you imagine how the world will belittle and criticize.

    And they will. No matter how brilliant and talented you are. No matter if they are strangers, your friends or your bedmates. It’s going to happen. It’s going to happen anyway, whether you’re just doing normal day to day things or giving birth to things of joy and consequence. It’s just a matter of degree.

    Your job isn’t to cater to the masses. Your job is to put the thing into the world that only you can. Not everybody is going to like it and that’s fine.

    So you may as well bask in how brilliant and talented you are while you build big, important things, and let them chatter as they must. 

    There’s nothing wrong with a little ego, and a little fear. It’s far better than the alternative: to do nothing ever worth talking about.

    Feel the fear— and then go ahead. Dance like everyone is watching.

    facing fear

    Faced with fear, we all recoil. The question is:

    what do we do next?

    -Ralph Keyes, The Courage to Write (affiliate link)

     

    FWIW, I don’t care much for Miley Cyrus either. I’m old, I guess.

    Refreshingly, I honestly don’t think she cares what I care.

     

  • Say Something, I’m Giving Up on You

    something silly in the world Shel Silverstein

    I’ve always thought it was obnoxious when people said they were trying to “find themselves.”

    I think part of that is because when I was younger, I had a pretty good handle of who my self was. I spent a lot of time in my own head. I read a lot. I put a lot of silly in the world, just because. I was lucky enough to be surrounded by people who let me talk a lot, who let me ramble on until my words became ideas and projects and passions.

    Then I had kids, and I worked all the time, and I grew away from people, and I stopped doing the things that helped me to continually shape who I was. When I did get to spend time with people, even I was bored with what I had to say.

    I stopped blogging because I didn’t feel like I had anything worth saying, let alone worth anyone else reading.

    I didn’t do anything anymore. I didn’t think or write or create things. If I had spare time, I slept. Or I worried about the stuff I should be doing, or I watched TV to block out worrying about the things I should be doing. Sometimes I mutitasked and dreamt about the things I should be doing.

    That’s no way to live. It’s not living at all, really.

    Which is to say, I’m currently one of those insufferable people trying to find themselves.

    My first step has been to do a lot of reading. I’ve gone back to reread the books that I’ve always considered to be the building blocks of who I am. I’m surfing Flipboard to find new things that spark something in me. I’m applying for jobs and opportunities that excite me. And I’m catching up on the bloggers who I used to read faithfully— binging on the several years of material that I’ve missed out on.

    One of those bloggers is Seth Godin, and this passage (taken from this post) made my hair stand on end.

    There’s a lot to admire about the common-sense advice, “If you don’t have anything worth saying, don’t say anything.”

    On the other hand, one reason we often find ourselves with nothing much to say is that we’ve already decided that it’s safer and easier to say nothing.

    If you’ve fallen into that trap, then committing to having a point of view and scheduling a time and place to say something is almost certainly going to improve your thinking, your attitude and your trajectory.

    A daily blog is one way to achieve this. Not spouting an opinion or retweeting the click of the day. Instead, outlining what you believe and explaining why.

    Commit to articulating your point of view on one relevant issue, one news story, one personnel issue. Every day. Online or off, doesn’t matter. Share your taste and your perspective with someone who needs to hear it.

    Speak up. Not just tomorrow, but every day.

    A worthwhile habit.

    Annoyingly, it immediately earwormed that song Say Something by A Great Big World for me. And now, I’m sure, for you. You’re welcome.

    Say something, I’m giving up on you—

    I’m not giving up on me. I hope you haven’t yet.

    I’ve got something to say, and I am saying it because I need it, and that is poetry. (Apologies to John Cage for morphing his quote, which I featured in the first blog post I ever wrote.)

    I’m committing to articulating every day. My point of view. Refinding my voice. Getting silly. Getting noisy.

    Say something.

     

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    Have something you’d like me to talk about? Hit me in the comments.