This past Sunday I ran the Shamrock n Roll 5K in Newark Delaware. It was sort of a last minute decision— registration closed the Thursday before, I glanced at the weather for Saturday and it was forecasting 60 degrees. Woohoo! Sounds good to me.

Turns out I’m an idiot and can’t read a calendar.

The race was SUNDAY and the high that day 40 degrees. Insert sad trombone. (Plus if it had been Saturday I’d have been perhaps “lucky” enough to see the infamous display of dumpster love that took place. Ahh, UD, keeping it classy.)

Two days before— Friday— I went to my Rivfit class at CrossFit Riverfront. I don’t have a photo of that workout, even though I had my phone right next to me recording my heart rate info. That’s how you know how freaking wiped I was by the time I was finished.

Here’s the heart rate data (pulled from my iPhone app, synced to an Armour 39 device I was sent by Under Armour). This is a pretty typical result for me, which means either I’m working hard or I’m about to have a heart attack.

Anyway, the workout. First we had to do a tabata of pushups: 20 seconds work, 10 seconds rest, 8 times. Then it was 15 minutes worth of progressive rounds of jump squats (squat, then jump up) and slam ball deadlifts (start with ball on ground, squat, stand lifting ball up to standing chest height, then back down to ground and repeat).

If I’d taken a picture of the board it would look something like this:

I think. I might be off with the 15 as the starting number. This is why I usually take a picture of the board.

Jump squats are killer. You look at 20 jump squats and only 15 minutes and think it’s not going to be so bad. Then about 7 minutes in, realizing you’re only halfway through, you want to lie down and be taken home on a stretcher. Add in the deadlifts and I basically did 300+ squats in 15 minutes, most of them weighted.

On Saturday my legs had turned into two tons of petrified wood. They only hurt if you touched my quads. If you touched my quads I involuntarily screamed bloody murder.

On Sunday it wasn’t as bad, stiff mostly, but getting out of bed was work. Putting on clothes was work.

But there are a limited number of days in the year when it’s socially acceptable to wear shamrock socks, dangit, and I wasn’t about to miss out.

Jeff drove me to the starting line and I decided against any mile/time tracking. I was just going to run easy, make the best of it. I thought a time of 35 minutes would be acceptable given my complete and utter lack of training.

The course was pretty flat and wound through a residential area, an out and back. I felt more comfortable going at a pretty quick pace then plodding along and passed a number of people in green shirts and leprechaun costumes. I kept that up for about a mile and a half, then hit a hill. Decided to walk the hill, take it easy for a bit as my ankles were starting to complain, then run the last bit in hard to finish strong.

My quads didn’t feel bad at all. Maybe it was the below freezing temps.

At mile 2 my right foot started to go numb.

At mile 2.5ish my left toes started to go numb too. The right was almost completely numb by this point.

And… that was that. Afraid of landing wrong on unfeeling feet and hurting myself, I walked the rest of the course. 5K in a frustrating as hell 37:49.

Putting that in perspective, the fastest women’s time was a little over 20 minutes; my fastest 5K time ever was 31:28. Given that I walked the last mile, that time isn’t awful; I’m pretty sure I’d have made 35 minutes if I’d kept running at least a little of it.

The point is I DIDN’T and I’m not sure what happened and if it’s fixable for next time. Possible culprits, according to Dr Google:

• Sheer impact. The fact that I haven’t run at all since last September, other than short sprints on a cushioned gym floor, means my feets just aren’t used to stress of pounding pavenment.
• Shoes. I’ve run in these shoes many times before without issue, but I’ve switched to more minimal types since then. Could be the heavier weight, maybe they’re ready to be retired, maybe they were laced too tight and when my feet started swelling circulation was cut off.
• Some sort of nerve problem. This is worst case scenario. Repeated impact is hitting and damaging a nerve in my foot.
• Tightness/contraction of other leg muscles. Um, this would certainly make sense.

By a happy miracle, my friend Penny found me at the finish line as I was massaging feeling back into my poor feets. I walked to the hosting bar with her and her friend and claimed my celebratory Michelob Ultra Light.

Pics, no matter how unflattering, or it didn’t happen

Many days and many hours of foam rolling later, I’m feeling fully recovered from the experience but ohmigod. In retrospect it was such a bad idea gift wrapped in a comedy of errors.

Want to totally jack up your body
AND have a humbling race experience?

Here’s how NOT to run your first 5K of the year:

• Who needs training? Forget Couch to 5K, I’m going from bed to starting line.
• Breakfast? Hydration? Pshaw. I can hydrate when I’m dead.
• Warm up? Nah, I’ll have hubby drop me off at the starting line and then fiddle with my playlist instead of getting some blood flowing in my legs.
• HAH! Oh yeah, my legs. They’re totally trashed. I’m walking like a toy soldier, but sure, I’m totally cool to run. Nothing better than a 5K with no training on wasted legs after inadequate recovery time.
• Start out fast! As fast as you can go! No need to pace yourself. You’ll totally have something left in the tank in spite of your lack of fuel, training and motivation.

Right. So to recap, I am dumb, and I’ll be starting over with Couch to 5K like a good girl.

But I did it, and 37:49 is an easy enough time to improve on, and starting is the hardest part, right? Nowhere to go but up!

Wearing:
CrossFit hoodie (with thumbholes!) sent to me by Reebok,
YMX by Yellowman dragon shorts (doesn’t look like they carry them anymore, sorry, find yer own booty shorts),
Pro Compression Shamrock socks, Wave Riders sent to me by Mizuno 2 years ago. 16s I think? 

Jeff via text: “Why are you the only one wearing booty shorts?” Answer: I hate hate hate being aware of my shorts or the feeling of sweat running down my leg under capris or leggings. It’s got to be Siberia outside for me to run in anything but short shorts.

Tell me about your running so far this year…
or your feelings about short shorts…

or about something that, in retrospect,
was not your smartest hour.

Ever experience tingling/numbness on a run?

This is my dad.

My dad was a wonderful person.

My dad was thoughtful and intelligent and kind.

My dad was a stubborn SOB and it killed him.

My dad never saw a doctor about suspicious symptoms. I assume it was because he was afraid.

I’ll never know, because when the cancer in his body metastasized and quickly swept his body he hid from me, believing he had a flu he couldn’t shake and saying he didn’t want to get my kids sick. Telling us to stay away. When I saw him a few weeks later he had lost a ton of weight, he was moaning in pain, he couldn’t get to the bathroom a few yards away. We called an ambulance to take him to the hospital a block away, where they pumped him full of morphine.

He never said another coherent word to me, other than to apologize for being so out of it. He barely resembled the father I knew from just a few weeks before; so frail and skeletal.

He died less than 48 hours later, alone in the ER. His brother, my uncle, had run to the phone to call us and tell us to come quickly, there wasn’t much time.

Cancer took my father and I’m still mad as hell about it. He should still be here. He should be cheering my daughter on at soccer games, playing guitar with my oldest, talking metaphysics with Maverick. He should have been at my brother’s wedding, he should be reading Dr Seuss to my brother’s two beautiful little girls.

It started as colon cancer, we were told, but by the time he died it was everywhere.

It didn’t have to be that way.

One in 20 people are affected by colon cancer. It’s the 3rd most commonly diagnosed form of cancer in the US and the 2nd leading cause of cancer death in the US for men and women combined.

But colon cancer is often beatable when detected and treated in its early stages. It’s preventable. Polyps can be removed before they even develop into cancer.

What You Need to Know About Colon Cancer:
#ColonCancerACC Chat on 3/20

My husband Jeff suffers from ulcerative colitis, which can involve symptoms like those involved in colon cancer (persistent stomachaches, cramps and bloating, rapid weight loss, constant fatigue, bloody bowel movements). His heightened risk of developing the cancer that stole my father scares the living hell out of me, and the kids and I have the elevated risk associated with family history.

Unlike my dad, because of my dad, I can’t ignore facts out of fear, so I’ll be tuning into a Twitter chat this week as Penn Medicine and the Abramson Cancer Center discuss colon cancer, prevention, and the factors that increase your risk. If this touches your life at all, I hope you’ll check it out too— or share with someone who might benefit from the information.

It’s happening on Thursday, March 20 from noon to 1 pm EST, hashtag #ColonCancerACC.

Panelists will include:

1. Timothy C. Hoops, MD, Director, Gastrointestinal Cancer Risk Evaluation Program at the Abramson Cancer Center
2. Gregory G. Ginsberg, MD, Director Endoscopic Services at Penn Medicine
3. Ursina Teitelbaum, MD, Medical Oncologist specializing in GI cancer at the Abramson Cancer Center
4. Skandan Shanmugan, MD, Colon and Rectal Surgeon specialized in minimally invasive surgery for benign and malignant disease

If you don’t have any risk factors for colon cancer, you should start being screened at age 50. With my family history I should schedule my first colonoscopy by 40. I think my brother has erred on the side of caution and already begun. Jeff should go every year or every other, depending on his doctor’s assessment.

Colon cancer rates have dropped by 30% for people over 50 in the US over the last decade, and we have colonoscopy screenings to thank for that.

Colonoscopies save lives. I wish I’d known that a long time ago.

Penn Medicine Facebook Page / Twitter @PennMedicine
Penn Cancer Facebook Page / Twitter @PennCancer

I’m seeing murmurings of people preparing for Spartan Race 2014 and realized I never posted about my 2013 Spartan Race: the Citizen’s Bank Park Spartan Sprint.

It was pretty much the most exhausting thing I’ve ever done, and I’ve gone through 3 natural childbirths.

And I loved it. Even while I was hating it. While scaling the last obstacle before the finish line, I was already thinking about how to prepare for next time.

Now, Spartan bills the Sprint race as being doable for anyone. But then they also turn around and say:

An obstacle course race is designed to test your resilience, strength, stamina, quick decision making skills, and ability to laugh in the face of adversity. We want to own obstacle racing and our unique obstacle course trail races will demand every ounce of your strength, ingenuity, and animal instinct.

which is somewhat intimidating, yeah? Hopefully reading through this recap of Spartan Race obstacles will help diffuse some of that intimidation.

My official stance: anyone can finish Spartan Sprint if they are capable of stringing together 30 burpees without wanting to die, and are not terribly concerned about their time. I didn’t do all the obstacles, and for each one I missed I did the 30 burpees. So the best way to prepare, frankly, is lots and lots of burpees. The upside to that is— burpees make you strong, and that upper body strength will go a long way with the obstacles.

The four of us took forever. We started as a team, we waited for each other, and we crossed the finish line as a team, and I was very pleased about that. For us it was more than a run, it was a group experience, something we did together.

With Andrea, who I’ve known since grade school

This was a stadium run, so we knew there would be no mud or water involved. It started off by going up several stories via the ramp; cords had been zigged and zagged across, first about waist high, then lower.

I bear crawled at first like a champ (bear crawl is like going on hands and knees, only straight leg, butt down), scurrying up that ramp under the cords. Then there was a few feet of space before you hit the lower cords (meant to be stepped or jumped over).

First bit of advice: when traveling at a speedy momentum up an incline, it’s best to slow down before attempting to stand up. 

I totally bought it one minute into the damn race, my momentum hurtling me forward as I tried to stand upright while still running. Luckily I caught myself in time to take all the weight on my hands, and I was already wearing my gloves (I didn’t know what else to do with them).

I didn’t scrape my knees and palms, I didn’t faceplant, but I did bang my wrist a bit and more importantly I was thoroughly shaken and feeling a bit stupid. I took it much easier the rest of the way up the ramp.

After that there was cement blocks on pulleys which had to be hoisted way up and brought gently back down. Easy peasy and one of my favorite obstacles of the day.

500 meter row in two minutes. Done. Thank you, CrossFit Riverfront.

Then in no particular order:

• a series of walls, from 6 feet to 8 or 9 feet, I’m not sure. The higher ones had a little step about the size of a brick built in, which were enough of a launchpad that I was able to scale them all, but my hips were seriously bruised the next day. Some walls had windows cut through the top half that you had to go through.
• monkey bars. They were not level and not evenly spaced, and not every bar went all the way across. I got a little more than halfway done and my hand just slipped off one of the peg bars. My first set of 30 burpees.
• stairs. Lots and lots of stairs. Up the stairs, down the stairs.
• Weaving across sections of seats.
• More corded ramps.
• Bunny hop up two ramps with a thick resistance band around ankles. Most people kind of just walked it. My second piece of advice is to just do the bunny hop. It’s just as easy and takes way less time.
• Carrying a filled water jug, more weaving across sections of seats.
• Carrying a sand filled “pancake,” maybe about 15  pounds? Not terribly heavy. More weaving and stairs.

Kelly, Christian and I are pancake carrying champs.

• Slam balls. 30 sounds right, I believe it was a 20 pound weight for the ladies.
• Javelin throw. I had asked Jeff to fashion me a spear so I could practice throwing it at the bales of hay in the park, but we never got around to it. I’ve never thrown a javelin before. I totally overestimated and it went sailing up and over. 30 burpee penalty.
• Carrying a cement filled bucket a short distance, doing some burpees (5? 10? Can’t remember) and then bringing it back.
• 40 jumps with a heavy jump rope. I rather enjoyed this one, enough that I went ahead and bought my own heavy rope (an outdoor Muscle Rope jump rope).

• Rope climb. I’ve never climbed a rope before either, and this was the obstacle I was most worried about; I was afraid I’d get to the top and be paralyzed there. Turns out I was worried about nothing because I couldn’t figure out how to scale the damn rope. 30 burpee penalty.

Tip #3: prep for the rope climb by watching this awesome rope climbing tutorial video and reading this post from one of our FitFluential Ambassadors, Parkour trainer Ryan Ford.

Now we were in the locker rooms and presumably the homestretch!

30 hand release pushups (chest all the way down to the floor, hands off the ground, then push back up).

Short photo break in the dugout.

30 box jumps.

More walls. These were an easily manageable 6 feet.

After the walls there was an open stretch to run on the infield before the next obstacle. I thought FOR SURE there was a camera trained here and I ran that sucker as fast as I could, slowing to a walk as I huffed and puffed and turned the corner.

Turns out, THAT’S where the camera was.

A sort of long horizontal rock climbing wall. I lost my footing and slipped off. 30 burpee penalty.

A “V” wall. When I did my first obstacle race I thought these were scary because they sway as each person grabs on and jumps off, but they’re old hat by now.

And then the literal homestretch, through the gladiator gauntlet.

I look like I’m dancing. Like a moron.

And that’s that, man. We did it. And if we can, so can you.

It was pretty badass. Like my socks.

A couple more tips:

If you check your bag, it costs 5 bucks but you get a $5 credit for any merchandise. They put a band on your bag and a matching one on your wrist. Tip #4: don’t cut off and throw away the band before you remember to redeem it for merch.

Tip #5: you can totally try some of the obstacles more than once. The javelin is one-shot-only, and I never would have made the rope climb, but I probably would have managed the monkey bars and rock climbing wall if I’d tried again.

Tip #6: don’t be afraid to ask for help, from team members or anyone else. I helped hoist a couple of people over walls, and I accepted a shoulder coming down off one of the high ones. The rope climb in particular was full of strangers helping each other and cheering each other on. This support is part of what makes obstacle runs particularly fulfilling.

Tip #7: do the burpees, kids. On your honor. I saw plenty of people blow the burpees off and it didn’t make any sense to me. You paid for this race, why not do the whole thing? I would feel cheated if I didn’t run it as intended, and that means a physical/time penalty for each uncompleted obstacle.

Tip #8, I guess, would be to wear close-fitting, sweat-wicking clothing so you’re not dying of heat but also not flashing anyone (lots of opportunities for that). I was really grateful to have been wearing the gloves, and my knee highs definitely protected my shins more than once.

I’m wearing Reebok shorts and shoes here (RealFlex which were sent to me by Reebok). I saw this weekend that Reebok just unveiled a new line of all-terrain shoes “built Spartan strong”— I haven’t tried these but they look pretty cool, and are designed with obstacle racing in mind (good traction, rock guards, drainage ports).

One last tip: sign up today, and start training now!

Yes, it was hard, I’m not gonna lie. Much harder than finishing the Merrell Down and Dirty Mud Run and a world away from Dirty Girl.

It was also hugely, hugely satisfying. DO IT. Join us in Philadelphia!

Photos showing the Spartan logo were taken by Spartan Race and were FREE, which is awesome.

The rest were taken by Andrea’s boyfriend Chris, who is also awesome.

The following post is sponsored by FitFluential LLC on behalf of SD Pharmaceuticals.

(As part of my job at FitFluential, I get to learn about and often try products from all kinds of companies in the fitness and health realm. This is one of them!)

Let me preface all this with: I am 37 years old. I have carried and given birth to three kids, and during one of those pregnancies I gained nearly 50 pounds. I work online.

Which is to say: my metabolism is not what it used to be. I’m pretty happy with where I am physically right now— I’m probably in the best shape I’ve been since I was a teen— but my body fat % has been decidedly stubborn. One might say unbudging. It’s frustrating; the muscle is there, but it’s under a layer of fat that hides how hard I bust my butt. I just look bigger.

So when given the opportunity to try some supplements from SD Pharmaceuticals, I decided to give them a whirl. A little extra help burning off the fat? I’m not emotionally attached to that fat, I wouldn’t mind seeing it go.

A few days and a knock at the door later.

Here’s the rundown of what I received, paraphrased from the SD Pharmaceuticals:

Green Coffee Bean: unroasted coffee beans. The roasting of coffee beans reduces chlorogenic acid levels: research suggests that chlorogenic acid from green coffee bean can have modulating effects on glucose metabolism and help inhibit fat accumulation.

Raspberry Ketone: the main aromatic compound found in red raspberries. Research shows raspberry ketone can improve fat loss by supporting a reduction in fat absorption while boosting calorie expenditure and fat breakdown.

Garcinia Cambogia: plant native to Southeast Asia, often used for cooking in India and other parts of Asia and Africa as a spice and souring agent. It contains a phytochemical called hydroxycitric acid (HCA) which can support healthy serotonin levels, help reduce appetite, and can have an impact on enzymes related to fat metabolism.

The serotonin bit is interesting: serotonin is a neurotransmitter affecting mood and sleep patterns. Healthy serotonin levels are associated with decreased food intake, enhanced mood, and reduced weight gain.

Mood, sleep, weight gain: those three are seriously intertwined, yeah? Mess with one and you invite issues with the others.

Dendrobium: one of the 50 fundamental herbs used in Traditional Chinese Medicine. It’s been used in China for over 1000 years as a tonic and strengthening medicine, and to promote the health of the stomach, kidneys and lungs.

Diindolylmethane: a natural compound formed during the breakdown of plants and the digestion of indole-3-carbinol, from the Brassica genus of plants (brassicas include broccoli, cabbage, Brussels sprouts, cauliflower, and kale). It’s taken to support healthy estrogen metabolism and hormonal balance in the body.

I’d heard of most of these before, but was fuzzy on the specifics. You can read about the science behind them on the site; I thought a lot of it was really interesting. If there isn’t any solid research behind an ingredient, then SD Pharmaceuticals’ researchers won’t use it. They only produce formulas which are clinically validated in human research studies.

I started with the Green Coffee Bean, taking one a day for several days, then added the Raspberry Ketones for several days, and so on down the stack, so as to be better able to see how/if each one affected my day. The pills are really easy to take (I’d grown used to some horse pills in my GNC vitamin packs) with no bad taste, although on occasion if I burped there would be a definite hint of raspberry. Not a bad thing, just funny.

Now, I think it’s hard to tell if any supplement is going to work for you in the long term. A lot of things, especially those that involve caffeine, are going to lose their potency for you over time and I’ve only tried these for a few weeks. That said, I have definitely noticed a general improvement in my energy levels and mental fuzziness over the course of the day. I also managed to get through my RivFit WODs with more focus, less need for breaks and colorful language.

I also greeted my monthly special lady time with great surprise, because it snuck up on me without the usual moaning and groaning and cramping. TMI? Coincidence? Placebo effect? Quite possibly on all counts, but I figured it was worth noting.

How’s my body composition doing? No change in weight, my body seems to like it here (I gained some after starting CrossFit, hit my current weight and have been there for over six months now). According to my scale, my body fat % has dropped a tiny bit this month. That’s all I could really hope for: I wouldn’t expect more with a short trial like this, plus those incremental changes are healthier anyway. Weight staying stable, adding muscle and slowly lowering body fat, that’s pretty much ideal.

To frame it another way, I think of these supplements as being like drinking a coffee or caffeinated soda in the morning and afternoon to wake my brain up & help me power through a workout, only I’m burning more calories without drinking the calories first. With the added bonus of components extracted from natural sources, that have been shown to help trigger bodily mechanisms that support fat loss and calorie burn.

They’re not magic pills— there isn’t any such thing— but I do think they can help kickstart a sluggish metabolism or help move past a plateau, by supporting and enhancing the fat burning and calorie expenditure you get from your exercise.

For right now at least, they’re definitely helping me to do the work, move the needle.

And flavor my burps with raspberries 🙂

Oh hey.

So remember how I broke up with running?

I haven’t really run— as in, planned length/measured pace run— since the 4th of July. I run at RivFit sometimes. I run for the hell of it because it’s nice out and I feel the need to feel the sun and wind on my face, sometimes. But I haven’t been running with an eye towards improving my running because, frankly, I don’t love it and lately I don’t have enough hours in the day to waste them on things that I don’t love doing.

I did, however, commit to Warrior Dash and Spartan Race before I stopped running. So if you’re wondering how you’d fare at these obstacle races as a not-very-dedicated runner, read on 🙂

Warrior Dash Pennsylvania

I wasn’t actually terribly concerned about Warrior Dash. I know a lot of people who have completed this one, at this location, and I knew their fitness level to be somewhat comparable to mine, give or take a bit.

I rode up to the Poconos and ran with my friend Kelly and her husband Christian (I’ll be doing that again this weekend for Spartan. Thanks for chauffeuring my ass all over the Tri-State area, guys!).

Want to laugh a lot to calm your nerves before a run? Walk around with a guy in a full-body ninja suit. The big question on everyone’s mind was whether he was going to be hot in that, so let me put your mind at ease. Christian didn’t complain about the costume at all. Maybe he’s just not a complainer, I don’t know him well enough to say, but he claimed to be quite cool. I thought the mud was going to weigh him down, but it seemed to roll right off the costume. So if you were waffling on whether to don a full-on unitard for your next mud run, I say go for it.

Check-in was a swift and easy process, for me at least. The ninja didn’t quite match the photo on his ID.

Runners were released every 15 minutes, and we probably had to wait about 20 before we were off. Easily not the worst wait I’ve ever experienced, just long enough to make friends and mess around with my new GoPro camera.

The first mile of the race was pretty much straight-up running, consistent with the other obstacle/mud runs I’ve done (Dirty Girl in Atlanta and Merrill Down & Dirty Philadelphia). I think this is deliberate to separate the men from the boys, or at least the people who care about their time from those who are just looking to complete the race. Those who care can forge on ahead and hit the obstacles without breaking stride (as the obstacles tend to bottleneck once the masses reach them). To give you an idea of how bad the backup can be:

I sort of wish I’d run that first mile harder or been more aggressive about running between obstacles (not knowing what was yet ahead, I ran flats and downhills but conserved energy on the uphills). I got stuck behind people who froze up on obstacles twice, and the last wall (pictured above) took forever due to all the people. Looking at the posted times, the vast majority of participants finished within about a two-minute window of each other, so pushing just a little bit more & shaving a minute off my time would have raised my placement by about a thousand people.

But I’m pretty eh about it since I was running with Kelly and didn’t particularly want to run ahead— for me, the event was a shared experience and now I stop to consider it I don’t care enough about my time to hoof it by myself. We ran together rather than racing alone and that’s the way it should be. For me, anyway.

It goes without saying that the WSJ and running snobs at large will bemoan my lack of competitiveness and tag me neatly as part of “The Slowest Generation,” and they can bite me. (Honey Badger don’t give a sh*t. Honey Badger Mom don’t care.) I paid good money and traveled all day to get out in the sunshine and run with friends, creating fun memories welded together with fitness and a sense of personal accomplishment, and if anyone sees fit to get all McJudgypants about it then pffffftttttt.

Anyway.

Run time aside, I didn’t find any of the obstacles to be terribly difficult, although climbing back down a pegged wall with coldass water shooting at me was super uncomfortable and a little scary, because it was slippery. I owned anything involving a rope and while I still have a moment of panic when swinging my leg over a wall and finding that first foothold, I think I’ve come a long way in a year, in terms of strength and confidence. Running speed and endurance? Not so much.

Here’s the video footage, if you want a firsthand look at the obstacles (Kelly and I traded off the GoPro, it was head-mounted). This was my first time using the GoPro so I’ll be upfront: it’s not the most exciting video. Jake did the editing and didn’t include half the things I asked him to, so please direct any editing complaints his way. I’ll start: what’s up with Captain America? And why so abrupt, ending? I’m old, I need to be eased into transitions.

Sadly, I totally forgot to do something interesting while jumping the fire.

Kelly did better. I’m doing something weird with my face here, gritting my teeth or holding my breath or something. I’m going to stop looking at it now before I start obsessing about how often I look like this without realizing it.

I know you’re dying to know all about my fashion forward accessory there— my phone tucked into my top. I brought my phone on the course in this waterproof case I bought as a Living Social deal, and it worked like a champ. I had it on a lanyard and as you can see I tucked it into my shirt so it wasn’t banging around all the time. Once we got muddy it was pretty much useless since I couldn’t clean it off or take it out of the case with my muddy hands. Still, it was nice to have my phone with me, even though it meant my kids were able to contact me mid-race and let me know they’d somehow stopped up the sink and were in the process of mopping up some minor flooding.

On second thought maybe next time I’ll leave my phone in the checked bag.

I’d say Warrior Dash was more challenging than Dirty Girl, a little less difficult than the Down & Dirty, and a great first obstacle course run for anyone with a decent base in running or strength or both. Running it in the Poconos is a special treat, given the hills and a motley crew of rednecks in lawn chairs forming miscellaneous bands of cheering sections. The wash-off was fairly typical for an event like this, which is to say you’re going to wait a while for your turn at a trickle of freezing water from a lawn hose. Bring a change of clothes, towels for the car, shoes that breathe, and a sense of humor.

Spartan Race

One would think a semi-successful Warrior Dash would make me feel more confident about running Spartan this weekend, but that isn’t really the case. Spartan is not kidding around. They are not all about handing out gold stars (or medals, same diff) just for showing up. The obstacles are harder, and you’re expected to do them. If you skip or can’t complete an obstacle, you’re penalized with 30 burpees.

What’s a burpee? I didn’t know until last year so here you go:
 

 
I understand the principle of the burpees— just plain skipping an obstacle would give you an unfair advantage time-wise and allow you to attack the next obstacle feeling fresh. Burpees eat up that time AND tax you physically before you can go on.

But dude, I fricking hate burpees. I have no idea how long it takes me to do 30 but it’s not fast. I can do 10 pretty easy, 15 with grunting effort, and after that it’s just sets of 2s and 3s until I can finish.

My optimistic strategy for Spartan is to complete every damn obstacle so I don’t have to do burpees, because after one set of 30 my arms and knees are gonna be toast (the hardest part of a burpee for me is jumping back up into squat, kills my knees).

Since this event is being held at Citizens Bank Park, there will be no mud involved, which means obstacles shouldn’t be slippery unless it rains (a good thing). It also probably means a decent amount of carrying heavy things up and down stadium stairs (a not so good thing).

Spartan doesn’t release the course or list of obstacles beforehand, so I can’t train for the race exactly, but I can hazard some educated guesses based on recaps I’ve read here and there.

Things I am worried about:

• falling down the damn stadium stairs. They are steep and narrow and I tend to get nervous just walking them.
• monkey bars.
• rope climb (I’ve never done a fully vertical one. I’m pretty sure I can get up the rope ok. It’s getting back down combined with the prospect of falling that has me sh*tting myself.
• the spear throw, just because I think you only get one shot or else the dreaded burpees.

Now, I’ve run a Twitter chat with Spartan through my work with FitFluential, and during that chat they really emphasized that the Spartan Sprint is doable for everybody with training. What they mean by training is, of course, open to interpretation.

With only a few days left, all I can do is eat right, sleep a lot and trust that Crossfit Riverfront has made me Spartan Strong (enough to survive). Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Have you run Spartan? Tell me Imma gonna be all right. 

720 kids are diagnosed with childhood cancer every goddamned day.

Childhood cancer is and remains the leading cause of death by disease for kids under age 15.

Research is consistently underfunded.

I apologize for the swearing, really I do. But it just makes me feel angry and helpless.

I don’t know what to do. So I’ll do what I can.

September is National Childhood Cancer Awareness Month, and Alex’s Lemonade Stand Foundation is going the distance with the Million Mile Run. Collectively, people who care about stomping out cancer in our kids are walking or running one million miles to work toward better treatments and research for a cure.

The Million Mile Run will act as an easy way for walkers and runners of all abilities to contribute to the fight against childhood cancer and raise the profile of the awareness month…Though some people have commented that one million miles might be a crazy goal, and maybe they are right, my daughter Alex taught me that when you set your mind to something and garner the help of others, anything is possible. She reached her million, and I think we can too.

-Foundation Co-Executive Director, Jay Scott

I haven’t been running a whole lot lately, as I’ve had some nagging heel pain I don’t want to aggravate before I do Spartan Race at the end of the month. But I’m walking and softly jogging my part of a million miles.

I’m signed on as a member of the Delaware Valley Bloggers team— localish ladies who I love and who are doing a great job organizing and lighting a fire under our collective butts.

Our team was inspired by two local childhood cancer heroes, Lily & Maggie.

Lily was diagnosed with a brain tumor called ependymoma when she was 14 months old. Lily endured five brain surgeries and a month-long hospital stay at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. Brain surgery left Lily unable to sit, crawl or walk. But now, Lily who is 7, is cancer-free. Lily can walk and she can dance and jump and rock it on the soccer field! Lily can run! Lily will be running along with our team as we work to reach our goal of 1,000 miles and $10,000 for a cure for all kids with cancer!

Maggie was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastomic leukemia (B-ALL) just a few months ago in May at 2 years old. All of her life, Maggie has been a whirlwind of giggles and red curls. And even though cancer and aggressive chemotherapy has temporarily stolen those lovely curls, they did not steal her tenacious spirit. Maggie and her parents fought this disease with everything they had. Finally, on July 5, Maggie was declared cancer-free! However, she will continue to receive a variety of treatments and testing to ensure that she stays healthy. As she works on regaining her physical strength, we will walk and run for Maggie!

I seriously have read that passage probably a dozen times now and it hurts my heart every time. I’ve been so lucky to raise three relatively healthy, carefree kids. Lily and Maggie have happy cancer-free endings, but their childhoods have already been so hard and there are so many kids and families out there that need support to find the happy endings they deserve.

Our team goal is 1,000 miles and $10,000. We’re at 371 miles now and $603. Won’t you help? It’s so easy.

Join our team to help us reach our mileage goal or or create your own.

There is no fee to sign up. If you use MapMyRun, you can make it so your miles count automagically, or  you can manually log your miles daily. Every mile helps.

Make a donation.

Every dollar helps. Seriously. One dollar. Two dollars.

If you really wanted to light a fire under me you could promise a certain dollar amount for every mile I manage between now and the end of the month. Just sayin’.

Spread the word.

This infographic is a good place to start.

Cancer sucks, y’all. Let’s kick childhood cancer’s ass.

About Alex’s Lemonade Stand Foundation
Alex’s Lemonade Stand Foundation (ALSF) emerged from the front yard lemonade stand of cancer patient Alexandra “Alex” Scott (1996-2004). In 2000, 4-year-old Alex announced that she wanted to hold a lemonade stand to raise money to help find a cure for all children with cancer. Since Alex held that first stand, the Foundation bearing her name has evolved into a national fundraising movement, complete with thousands of supporters across the country carrying on her legacy of hope. To date, Alex’s Lemonade Stand Foundation, a registered 501(c)3 charity, has raised more than $60 million toward fulfilling Alex’s dream of finding a cure, funding over 300 pediatric cancer research projects nationally. For more information on Alex’s Lemonade Stand Foundation, visit AlexsLemonade.org.